New season

Things are always changing. His love never does. I feel different every day. Whether it's good or bad, feelings are so fickle. I didn't think I was growing up but I now think differently. I know I belong to Jesus. I know that I cant find truth in anything besides him. Still cautious of the enemies lies, schemes, and tricks. Thankfully my Father is King and has power over everything. He is my helper and protector. My only source and shield.

Work has been interesting as usually. I feel the Spirit of God moving on certain people and it's awesome. I also feel the attack of the enemy and temptations of this world. But I realized how God's hand on everything going around me lately and He really is a Faithful Father. If only the girls at work knew his closeness towards them all.

I met A Prophetic Messianic Jew that came in awhile ago one night. he is truely blessed by God. He taught me a few things that I needed to hear and of course God had it already planned out, which is obvious now but at the time I was very careful because I didn't know the guy but as the conversation went on I felt peace with the Holy Spirit. The man prayed for me and I was thinking about him tonight when I was in prayer. It's awesome how God uses people to communicate his messages. But there's nothing like hearing things from God yourself. When Jesus speaks to me, I feel like I'm in truth in everything. I love his voice. His voice makes me happy. Even if he tells me something I prefer to pretend not to hear, I just love having him near me. I love feeling him but when I can't feel him it's always good to hear him because it assures me he is near. I just want to love him more. I think my love for God is so small but he always shows me his love in some way. I know he smiles at me...I just know he does...then i ask myself "but why?" I see my imperfections, mistakes, flaws and all, all the time and always think he should just be angry at me and not talk to me anymore. What a load of dung!

I don't want to let go of him. Jesus is really all that I have anymore. I feel like this world is nothing to me. I do love life a lot and I enjoy all these different people around me but my goodness! Nothing is worth it here on earth. A lot of things people do is like a filler to waste time. And of course I notice what I do too obviously. Why else am I typing my thoughts on here. I truely don't want to waste time. I just want to stop doing that. I'm seeing time being wasted day by day and now I'm wanting to see more of the power in Christ NOW. How? When? I've seen some but I know there's more and I believe it's soon, but I also believe it's going to come in a way I least expect.

One thing that's been keeping my mind busy is a desire to get married someday and find an amazing man of God but I want to loose all focus on my desires and go after the desires of the heart of God. I want to stop thinking about things I have no control over and allow my trust and faith in God grow more. I never thought I'd hate feeling selfish but I do really hate having selfishness. I just want to die to myself. Go beyond myself and go deeper into God.

My mom thinks I'm just going a little slower in life than my brother and sister. My dad thinks I'm going to be a nothing. It makes me sad to know that sometimes but the way to God and the thoughts he has been revealing to me makes me feel successful in life. Sometimes it's rough but it's been worth the ride. God is really good and wonderful. He has great kindness and holds back a lot of his anger and judgments on the people of this world. I can't describe his mercy but he has definitely showed me a lot of it and I know I'm blessed because of his forgiveness and mercy on me.

I really enjoy being at Rock of Refuge. I love everybody there and God's used Pastor Andrew, Karen, Linda a lot to help me. I'm very very very thankful for them and the way they all allow God to use them. I only hope to pass on what God has been doing through them to the younger ones that are about to come, that are living in bondage and have broken lives.

This generation is so broken and messed up!

I need to weep really loud. I hate seeing and feeling these messy things in the world but it's a miracle to see God remove things and restore it and heal. What God did through me, I know anything is possible for him to change and heal.

All I really desire is to be with him. No one will understand what I mean if they don't have a relationship with God but those that do probably desire the same thing that I do. They want to go after God even more than they did yesterday. Hard times or good, no lover or Son/Daughter for Christ can stop seeking him until they are with him. There life story isn't about them but the author and the life giver.

LOVE WILL SET PEOPLE FREE.
GOD IS LOVE.