Holy Father, Spiritual Father, Earthly Father

well i just got my father's day card for my two special dads. my daddy and pastor andrew. i made sure i took my time doing pastor andrews card because he means a lot to me and i love him a lot. when i went to do my dad's card i was more laid back on it. as i started writing down my thoughts to my earthly dad i started to realize how much i loved him and how much he means to me and how much i need him. i couldn't stop crying. i realized i held onto so much bitterness towards him for so long (tried to do things on my own and ignore him) and it literally was crushing my heart. i love him so much and i know he did the best he could as a dad even though i was mad and angry at him for things he did. he did a great job, wasn't perfect, but i just realize today that he is perfect to me. i really miss him...he's fixing the backyard right now but i feel far from him and i want to be close to him again.

There's no greater Father like my God. I thank Jesus for showing me the Father's heart more and more each day and bringing healing to all hearts lost of a parent.

I LOVE YOU

Child Of God

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world. ~1 John :1-2(NLT)


Calling out of sin and into true repentance.
False repentance is usually caused by fear or an attempt to escape trouble or danger, and not of faith.
The heart and soul remain in the original state.
There is a falling back to sin

True repentance is by faith and the changing of one's heart and mind,
giving it to the hands of God.
In truth there is a deep inner turning with sorrow and distress from sin and ungodliness to God and His righteousness.



*what I learned today. It was brought to my attention for a good reason, of course, and from a good Father*

Thank you Jesus, I love you.

yup

He who ignores discpline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
-Proverbs 15:32

UPDATE
My pastor next door told me to date a man, not a little boy. I understand what he means now. I feel angry at Tyler but I'm trying very hard not to egg his car. (I say this with some humor and hurt.)

I'm really loving the ladies at work. Getting to know them and their stories really makes me love them more. Few of the girls are Ciara, Lidia, Patty, Heather, Kayla, both Emilys, and most of all Karen. Karen I love a lot. She's so awesome and I have a big heart for her. She is lesbian and is taking care of her daughter, sisters, and mother all by herself. I've been really drawn to her a lot. She is different but I feel and know God is tryn to tell me something about her. A lot of the girls there are younger than me and have a child. They are tough girls, most seem to have rough lives. I saw the number 601 three times in a row last night at work and usually I only see it once but I realized that I saw that number three times in a row for a reason. I think it's a warning. I got hit hard last night. A lot of it was from past stuff. The enemy is hitting hard, and I'm trying soo hard to stand firm but I can't do anything without God.

I want to be with Jesus right now. Everything is for a reason, I'm sure. That time will come some day. But I am thankfully Jesus is helping me understand things more and putting me in men and womens' lives. Getting hurt is part of life on this earth but it's awesome how from that hurt, going to God makes my relationship with him become more intimate and feel closer through those hurts. Good stuff from a good God. All knowing, all present, all powerful...that's my Father. I love him. He is nice to me.

I'm thirsty and I HATE SATAN.

Now I got to get ready to have lunch with two beautiful women of God. Jackie and Heather!! +) Woot! I GOOOO!!!!!! ZOOOOoooOOOoooM!